Good Morning Tuesday..........

I just totally love the sheets and duvet at the Hampton Inn and Suites............so much so I am going online and ordering some for my bed.  At least the Duvet.

Got the pathology report back on Luigi the Lipoma (may he burn peacefully in HELL).  The little Bas*ard is benign!  Thank God.  And the grape size lump on my shin was only the tip of the ice burg.  Doc said he had to open the incision up larger 3 times.  That sucker was wrapped up in there like he was going Condo or something.  Forming his own little city and all that.   But, he's out and burning peacefully in hell with Becky's Alien *****es.  Ahhhhhhhh, gotta love our surgeons.

Today brings me more paperwork, getting my nails done and that's it after work.  Oh, and scratching that horrible itch that was under my bandage for the last 5 days!  Ahhhhhh!

OMG, NO KIDDING, the itch is driving me crazy, try having a scar almost the size of your entire spine....the doc says it's a good thing it is itching, BS!!!!  I am ready to lose it.

Yes the Hampton has some great bed and bedding also.  When Doug and I go to Temecula for wine tasting, that is where we stay, and OMG, their rooms are so nice.  We get one with a fireplace and two recliners to sit in and watch TV.  That is where Doug passed out on his birthday, but that picture along with alot of others were in my phone that I lost. 

I hope that all the crap that they scraped out of my back is out burning in hell with Luigi and the Alien *****es...hey we should start a band by the name, I play drums, sort of, been years since I did.

Love you, D

In my younger life, I used to play (are you ready for this???)  Flute, Piccolo, clarinet, bass clarinett, oboe, saxiphone and a smattering of piano. 

And I was a tenor in the choir. 

Hi Cali Crew,

Lu and Stephanie - Vegas sounded like lots of fun. I actually prefer staying on Fremont Street. Like you said Stephanie, the Golden Nugget is a great hotel and at night there is definitely more of a party atmosphere down there. Reading both of your messages is giving me an itch to want to go soon. An Cali OH trip there sounds like a great idea to me.

Stacie - Feel better soon. Get lots of rest and take your cold seriously. You deserve the rest!

Maureen - Congrats on Luigi being benign. Awesome!!!

I am upset because I just snapped at someone I manage. I was trying to word smith something with another staff person I manage and she kept jumping in criticizing my ideas and got annoying enough for me to say very definitively, "ENOUGH!". She has been quiet now for the past hour. I know it's not a big deal, but I have this annoying quality about myself where I want people to always hold me in high esteem so it's tough, shall I say gut wrenching, when I have to use my managerial powers.  She was being inappropriate.  A better approach and the one I usually use is to calmly ask someone to refrain from their behavior. I am not perfect and have to remind myself I am not horrible for sometimes not being perfect. Right?

I have my eating disorders support group tonight and a week of meetings and angry constituents. I am probably going to have to get up at 5:30 am the next two days if I plan on exercising at all this week. Starting yesterday I have 4 days in a row of work, commuting two hours and evening meetings that all go until 9:30 pm. UGH!

Take Care,

MsBlues

Perhaps a quiet appology to her for snapping and tell her it would have been more appropriate for you to ask her calmly to refrain from input in this situation as you were a bit stressed and attempting to get something done.  That might smooth her ruffled feathers and make you look like a good, compassionate manager *****alizes that snapping at a co-worker or subordinate is not the appropriate answer. 

And, it'd make you feel a bit better.

M

Maureen,

I fogot to mention that I asked nicely at first to let me finish with the other employee, but she kept jumping in and not letting me finish.  She felt her information was relevant to what I was doing so I said at first "I understand that your information might impact this, but let me get the rudimentary language down first and then we can get your information." She then continued butting in and criticizing my choice of words. That's when I snapped. I am so passive as a manager most of the time that I am not sure apologizing would be a good thing.  I know if I had been told that by my manager, I would have refrained until the person had time for me.  A talk explaining my point of view might be good though.

I know it's silly I am so worried about this, but one thing I've finally been admitting is that I am a sensitive person.  I think I've eaten over a lot of things to deny my sensitivity.  Just stuff all those emotions down!!

Thanks again for your advice!

MsBlues

Like I tell my husband when he says something to someone he works with, It's ok, they pay you to take care of people.  He didn't sleep for almost a week because he had to take someone to HR!  So Ms...it's ok, it's your job and you were doing it!  That is what they pay you for!  :-)

(((((msblues))))) here is a hug to make you feel better!

Thanks Diane. I appreciate it.  Especially the hug. I am very much a hands off, only criticize when I need to sort of manager so when I have to "pull rank" it stresses me out greatly.  To add to this, another staff person snapped back at me when she didn't handle a situation the way I asked her to.  Luckily I didn't reciprocate with a snap, but I just reminded her that she didn't do what I asked and repeated again why the situation required that particular response. It's so strange because I can go months without any conflict, but today two things have come up. Strange.

Thanks again!

Hey MsBlues,

I'm not saying this is the case with you, but you will find as you go through this entire WLS process that your interaction with the people around you will change.  Us fat folks seem to think that we have to be perfect and nice to everyone so they will like us and listen to us because how could anyone possibly like us or respect our opinion because we are fat.  We tend to overcompensate in the niceness area.

As we progress through WLS (before, during and after) our thoughts about ourselves changes.  We learn that we don't have to be the doormats for society.  What we have to say is as important as what anyone else has to say and might just actually be better than what someone else has to say.

As a manager you appear to be bending over backwards so everyone will like you.  As a manager that is good to have everyone like you, but when you do your job properly, the reality, is that they won't always like you and that is ok.  It is more important that they respect you and understand that you are the boss whether they like it or not.

So, don't beat yourself up over this one.  There will be much better things to flog yourself about later on.  LOL

Stephanie

Stephanie,

You are so correct about fat people overcompensating in the niceness area.  I've done that a lot. I've let people say some harsh and rude things to me because of the shame I've had about my weight.  I've been shedding this shame or at least the idea that people can treat me badly because of my weight for the past few years. I've really been working on it.  Now that I am losing weight along with working on what's going on in my mind, I will have more moments of conflict.  I just need to know that I can handle conflict in a civil way.

What's good about this case is between the support from fellow OHers, including the great message you sent, I only beat myself up for a few hours.  In the past, I'd let this ruin my whole week that would spiral into self hatred. I am not doing that today!!

Thanks again for your wise words!

MsBlues